Phil's Heartfelt Holiday Tidings To You, The Reader, With Special Guests Who Are Disabled
:: The Crafty Ladies - Deck The Halls ::
Has the phony, fake fucking “War on Christmas” got you down? Have you recently said, “Happy Holidays,” to someone, not because you’re a liberal/secular/humanist/tree-hugging/commie/pinko/fag, but because, oh, I don’t know, it’s easier than saying, “Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, or a Joyous Kwanzaa to you, whichever you might celebrate, and a peaceful New Year to you, as well” – only to have the words, “MERRY CHRISTMAS!,” spat loudly, obnoxiously and sometimes, repeatedly back at you? Yes? No? Well, I’ve had it happen to me 7 times in the last few days while wrapping things up for the year with clients at work, and each time I’ve made a mental note that I’ve just gotten off the phone with yet another Brainwashed Bill O’Reilly-Believing Boob®.
Fear not, friend. The Crafty Ladies are here to bring you down even further, for they have our true holiday interests at heart. They’re here to remind us into acknowledging what the season is really about – the selfish greed, the blind hype, and being duped into the belief that we all give a shit about each other, if only once a year, while we willfully ignore the loneliness of the unfortunate, the discarded, and the disabled. Or, perhaps these Crafty Ladies will serve to remind you of what a complete and utter fucking prick you are as your big, round belly shakes when you laugh, like a bowl full of jelly, while listening to this record. Bah, Humbug, and have a happy Festivus!