Oh, You Creepy Little Bears
:: Care Bear Theme (with Robot Feverdream Remix Outro) ::
You remember the Care Bears, right? Man, those things were gayer than Paul Lynde's silkiest ascot. At least that's what people who weren't small children and the parents who nurtured them thought. But that's just the knee-jerk, face value reaction when you first see these overcute cuddlemeisters. Once you learn a little more about them, they go from sub-unicorn ridiculousness to being, well, kinda creepy. I mean, I am sure they were great for the little kids, but to a cynical adult, their dedication to the whole smothering love thing borders on the insane. Plus, they shoot hearts out of their chests, something that I know Mike will never be able to erase from his mind.
So this 45 was a crappy gift from Triaminic, and contains their bubblegummy theme song (or one of their theme songs) as well as a goofy story that consumes 2/3 of the whole slab. Here is side A. It's the theme song, and part one of the insipid tale, which I lovingly screwed with to make it sound as if you're in the fever dream aftermath of downing a whole bottle of the finest Triaminic nectar. Actually, to me it sounds the Butthole Surfers performing an exorcism on Peg Bundy at a Farrell's Ice Cream Parlour, but that's just one dude's opinion.