Candy Bars For Elvis Redux

:: I Remember Elvis Presley ::

:: What Will We Do Without You ::

:: Goodbye King Of Rock And Roll ::

:: Dark Cloud Over Memphis ::

:: Candy Bars For Elvis ::

:: Goodbye Elvis ::

This is a repost of my piece from two years ago for The Elvis Death Week Memorial Celebration Celebration, but I've updated it with more songs. Long live the King, and those who can't ever get over him.

Sure, I remember where I was when Elvis died. I was a pretty huge fan when I was a little kid. I used to do an impression of him (performing All Shook Up,) which I guess was cute enough that my mom would always want me to perform it for company. Thankfully, I was far too humble and shy to ever comply. Anyway, when the King died on his throne, I was at my grandmother's house on Jackson Street, and I heard about it on the evening news. I don't remember feeling sad. I only remember feeling true disbelief. For weeks! It was a real lesson in mortality for a seven year old. Never moved me to song, though.

But it sure moved these folks. This commemorative plate of a picture disc, "To Elvis: Love Still Burning," serves up 11 cloying slices of eulogy pie, filled with sappy, hyper-reverential tributes to the King. And trust me, he's referred to as the King in every song. A lot of the songs are delivered in various imitation Elvis voices: the low and velvety, bubbling warble made famous on Are You Lonesome Tonight, the more stretched rocker Elvis, the generic and overstated "thank you verreh much" Elvis, etc. It's kind of frightening to hear so much zealotry side by side, and specifically hearing it sung in voices that imitate the subject itself. It's like a collective mania seized a portion of the population as soon as he was gone, and I'm sure there's never been anything like it, nor could there probably ever be again. The jist of each song is that he was the King, and how he'll never know how much how much he touched their lives. Had he known, he might well have slapped them with restraining orders.

Looking up some of the artists, only one appears to have had a real, respectable music career, Ral Donner. One may now very well be a pay-to-pray evangelist, a natural evolution if there ever was one. My favorite name on here is Danny Mirror, which is either perfectly clever or completely inane, I can't decide. But the clear choice of this litter is Barry Tiffin and his heartfelt tribute, Candy Bars For Elvis. The tremulous gushings on this spoken word piece really drive home how ridiculous things got, and you'll hear nothing more mawkish this side of Red Sovine. You're welcome.

In closing, I'd like to mention how much I like how the hole is drilled right between his eyes. And the painting makes him look slightly, well, slow. All this adds up to a pretty comical effect when it's spinning on the turntable, like he's a hayseed driller-killer victim in some Troma movie. I should add that picture discs generally sound like ass, and this one is no exception. Enjoy the copious surface noise.

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Thursday, August 18, 2005 8:55:00 AM

Is it just me, or does the organ player actually hit a wrong note around 3 minute in when barry is talking about livin' in a van down by the river?    

Thursday, August 18, 2005 8:57:00 AM

No kidding? Oh God, please don't tell me I have to listen to this again.    

Friday, August 17, 2007 1:00:00 PM

Elvis Week at Waved Rumor too! Catch classic clips of the King!    

Friday, August 17, 2007 10:49:00 PM

sad to say that I just witnessed the "Viva Viagra" commercial for the first time and can't help but wonder what the King would think of this.    

Friday, August 17, 2007 10:57:00 PM

Well, it's a pill, so he probably would have thought, "I'll swallow this."    

Friday, August 17, 2007 11:18:00 PM

Aw, man, that fucking Viva Viagra commercial is the worst thing I've ever seen/heard. I don't even care about the Elvis part, it's just embarassing in every way. A bunch of dudes sittin' around a pickin' an a grinnin' an a singin' about the joys of being able to get a hard on. Jesus!


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